There is a link in the new(ly re-claimed) space to the new feed.

People have business journals and personal diaries. I think compartmentalization can be confusing, but when you’re staring at your ‘post’ box and wondering how what you’re about to say will impact your business partner, your business, etc. it is time to put business in one box and venting screeds in another.

Right?

See you over there. 

What’s in my basket?

A container of gesso
A container of matte fluid polymer medium
A tin of Caran D’Ache Neocolor II
A tin of Caran D’Ache Neocolor I (metallic)
A pair of scissors
A glue stick
A travel pack of baby wipes
A Cotman travel watercolor kit
A box of sample-size Golden fluid acrylics (the starter pack of 8 colours)
A collection of black pens
A white pen
Some brushes
A bottle of water
A rag
A General’s Sketch and Wash pencil
A 2H pencil, sharpener and kneaded eraser
A roll of paper towel
A Moleskine Sketch
Beside the supply basket is another basket full of magazines and junk mail in case the collage bug hits me.

If I stretch a little I can reach my tote full of mark makers, too, so at any given moment I can reach in to that and grab a Copic marker, a Sakura Gelly Roll, a Prismacolor pencils, a Pitt pen, some charcoal or one of my favourite purple Bic pens.

Here’s the thing: 

I had a lot of time to think while doubled over with weird tummy-ness, and I came to some conclusions.

My life revolves around Wild Precious. I eat, sleep, breathe, and dream Wild Precious. I find myself trying to leverage whatever I do so that it somehow serves Wild Precious.  This isn’t about money. It’s about service. Y’all know that the majority of what I do, I do for free, and I love what I do. LOVE it.

But the truth is, all this living breathing eating sleeping WPS means I am not meeting my own need for plain and simple fun-for-me.

~I need to do more art for the sake of it

~I need to accept that this is a *spiritual practice* for me and if all I ever do is ‘work at it’ then I’m skipping the spirit part and I end up with an empty well

~I do what I love, yes, but if I do it to the exclusion of everything else (as I have been) I will grow to resent it.

Couch Art is the practice I’ve undertaken as a result. It is unscheduled. It is not a commitment. It has nothing of ‘work’ in it. I will not record it for posterity. I will not leverage into work for Wild Precious. It is as sacred as going to Temple or Church. It is mine.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll never share it. :)

Reclaiming art for me and only me means I can fill the well on my own and come back into the world all full of juicy goodness. It means I can come into that sanctuary with my head on straight, my heart wide open, and my smarts engaged.

It might take me a little while to recover from tummy troubles (and a pretty nasty case of resentment flu ~ I wonder if they’re related!) but I *will* recover. And Couch Art will be a big part of my healing process.

I ohhhhh’d and ahhhhh’d and considered the budget, put the cahiers back so I could grab this beauty instead. It lives on my coffee table now, ready for me to pull out whenever I need a little inspiration.

What does it for me about da Vinci is his faces. They’re perfect. I love how they glow. The way he paints fabric is pretty jaw dropping, too.

We’re talking about a master here, so of course everything he does is completely, gobsmackingly gorgeous, but I find myself looking at his paintings for more than mere pleasure. I’m looking for tips. I’m looking for instruction.

I’ll never be a ‘fine artist’. It’s not my ambition and the thought of creating on that grand a scale doesn’t do a thing for me, but when I make a face, I want it to be as beautiful as this:

I may never achieve that goal, but it’s going to be a fine, fine thing to try.

You can see more about the book here.

xo

Effy

As a result of this mass conditioning of the feminine being in our world, whenever a woman appears on the scene who is audacious, ambitious, self-confident and self-promoting, she gets a lot of attention. Some of that attention is positive, to be sure, but a lot of it? Negative. You know this to be true, yes? You have probably experienced this yourself. You put yourself out there, and find yourself labeled a ball buster, hard, cold, calculating, ambitious (said with a sneer), emasculating, bitchy, too loud, obnoxious, or any of the other lovely labels our society plasters all over women who simply live out loud.

I think the root of this labeling is envy. I think when you see a smear campaign begun against a woman of power, the people behind it are envious because they aren’t living in their power. They are behaving themselves. They are being quiet, nice, unassuming, sweet…or at least, that’s what they tell themselves while they humilate themselves and their gender by smearing a woman they ‘don’t like’ for all the world to see.

There is only one cure that I know of for envy, and that’s getting what it is you think you want. If you find yourself feeling really hostile toward a woman because she’s putting herself out there, daring to dream in colour, behaving audaciously and hopefully and laughing, singing, dancing, living LOUDLY, perhaps it’s because you want that for yourself.

Instead of wasting your energy being envious, let that envy inform you, and drive you in the direction of your own desire to be audacious.

I dare you.

Who are you NOT to?

xo

Effy

(repost from January 2011 because I seem to be getting a lot of unexpected extra traffic today. :))

In The Studio

I found this beauty in the gallery at Wild Precious Studio by Arlene Holtz who keeps a gorgeous blog here.

This beauty by Joanne came in response to our latest edition of Church of Art

In The Coffee House, I found this gorgeeeeeosity:

By Shelley Hoover

and this beauty:

By Sherry Lucy

And this gorgeous piece from Elements: Self-Guided

by Luthien Karen Cradlow

P.S. Want to learn how to do this kind of stuff? Check out Mixed Media and Journal Art Boot Camp!

Limited time offer: Register for Life Book through this link, email me to let me know, and get a free spot in Elements: Self-Guided!

It can be overwhelming, but I have a cure for overwhelm. I go to my journal with the needs of my heart. I pour them out. And then I listen for the wisdom that flows as Awen flows, and I give myself what I need.

It’s easy to seek outside oneself for comfort and validation and answers. My tribe is amazing at supporting me with validating commentary on all I have to offer. But nothing, and I mean *nothing* is as useful as self-talk. Nothing drives the message home better than a little self-to-self talking to.

I see a lot of the people I love seeking validation everywhere but in the mirror. If I could offer one gift to everyone I care about it would be the understanding that no one’s belief in you is as important as your own. No one’s faith in you can move mountains in your life *but your own*. No one’s assessment of your worth is as powerful as your own.

Here’s a video of the page I did.

I just wanted to pop in here this morning to let you know that those of you who are following along with Dee’s wonderful tour are eligible to win a free spot in Elements: Self-Guided. I’m not sure how Dee wants to manage the intake of entries, so let’s just do this…Like her Facebook page, come back here, and let me know you did it, and you’re in! The winners will be announced on Monday, October 24, 2011!

Dee has this to say about her blog and her Superhero Mastermind Circle:

I created the Tour and the Superhero Mastermind Circle for people who are looking for a means to improve their relationship with money.  If you aren’t making enough money, if you feel like your relationship with money is complicated or challenging, if  you’d like to start a business or you have a business and you’d love to have a circle of people to share your joys and challenges with, then the Tour and Mastermind Circle were created for you!

Dee asked me to explain a little bit about who I am and how I came to do what I do:

I am the pajama clad mystic den mama of Wild Precious Studio; a beautiful on line community of spiritual creatives for whom the process of ‘arting’ is more important than the end product. I also produce a podcast called Under One Moon that explores the marriage between creativity and spirituality from a mostly pagan perspective.

I discovered art journaling in early 2010 after a long spell of creative blockage. As a poet and a writer, I felt desperate to reclaim my creativity after a period of family upheaval that left us all raw and feeling empty.

Art journaling seemed like the perfect way to crack me open and get me writing again. Funnily enough I discovered that beneath the poet and writer was a secret artist just waiting to be born!

Since 2010, I have taken a bazillion on line e-courses in art journaling, mixed media art, sketching, and even life coaching. I’ve added these newly acquired skills to my previously acquired knowledge around working with nature, the subconscious mind, recovery from childhood abuse and developing spiritual practices that work to create an art journaling practice that really *means* something.  I can help you do the same.

One of the most powerful uses I’ve discovered for art journaling is the direct line of communication it gives me with aspects of myself I might not otherwise have access to. As a survivor of child sexual abuse, connecting with these aspects of self has been incredibly important to my recovery, and I am so grateful that I discovered this tool in the second half of my life.

In working with women in my on line studio, I have come to recognize that it isn’t just the survivours of extreme trauma that need this kind of access to their subconscious mind. Everyone can do with a way to connect with their inner child, their inner divinity, their inner parent, their inner critic. Everyone can benefit from learning how to dig deep and come back into the moment with new information that they can apply to their own healing. I’ve developed a kind of ‘artful shamanism’ that serves the artist just as well as the medicine men of old served their villages. You go deep. You explore the wound. You come back with artfully created healing salve for the things that stand between you and living the one wild and precious life you’ve got. It is a kind of practical magic that can be used by anyone, of any skill level to address whatever issues they might be facing.

You can find me on my blog, where I write about spiritual creativity, recovery and life in the little house that could, on Facebook, and on Twitter. If you want to access my podcast, you can do so here. I’m always available via email sent to wildpstudio@gmail.com.

Time for a little gratitude, I think, because what better way to get things into perspective than to count your blessings?

1. It’s just a really bad chest/head cold. I’ll live.
2. The rain will stop eventually.
3. My new project, Real=Beautiful is bringing a lot of goodness into my life.
4. I’m in this fabulous Blog Tour.
5. Mixed Media and Journal Art Boot Camp opens in 10 days. *FLINGS GLITTER*
6. My Tribe is full of gorgeeeeosity. {Got Tribe? Get some!}
7. My puppies (who are fully grown adult dogs, but will always be my babies) are adorable and very warm to cuddle with when I have chills.
8. Whatever crisis a 15 year old is having usually passes like clouds over the sun. (May it be so)
9. I’m getting laid on a regular basis.
10. Grey’s Anatomy is back and the first five episodes made me cry. Yes, every damn one of them.
11. I stand in my truth even when it’s hard. Hell, especially when it’s hard, and that’s something to be very, very proud of.
12. I’m doing a special bonus lesson for Lifebook and I’m all excited about it!
13. I have cinnamon raisin rice pudding and lots of Thermaflu.
14. Lotion suffused Kleenex.
15. Inhaled corticosteriods.
16. Good books.
17. I am loved.
18. Goddess Circle keeps me grounded.
19. Observational Journaling is helping me go deep.

I think that about covers it for the moment. Do you make lists like this when you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with craptacularosity? I highly recommend it. :)

*Pops more Ibuprophen*

xo

Effy

P.S. PUPPIES!

The Bean Dreams of Being Enough

It’s been whirlwind of emotional work here in Effyland and it’s been soooooo fucking good. You know? Hard but good in the way that only deeply satisfying personal work can be.

Some conclusions I’ve drawn of late: I’m never going to be perfect, no matter how hard I try. (Thank GODS we got that straight because the pressure was killing me!) I have serious issues with women. (D’uh!) I am awesome because I’m willing to work on whatever issues arise within me. (Applause!) I always have a choice. (Always! It’s kind of liberating to realize that!) I’m bound to fail (because failure is inevitable) but I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up! I’m bound to disappoint people (because that, also, is inevitable) but I’m not longer going to blame myself for being *human*, for fuck sakes. (Applause!) I’m worthy of self-empathy. (D’uh!) And, drum roll please, I really need to be a little nicer to myself than I have been.

***

I was reading Goddess Leonie’s Pee En Dee story late last night, and it struck me that a lot of the anxiety I’ve been exploring lately is about all the whitewashing I’m trying to do all the time. This makes sense when you consider how I was raised. As long as everything LOOKED good, my female parental unit was satisfied. LOOKING good/SEEMING good was monumentally important. What was broken (me, for starters) had to be gotten rid of because it messed with the appearance of perfect. I’m probably oversimplifying here, but you get the jist. It was extremely important to my mother and my step-father that they *never be at fault*, that they *never be wrong*. As a result, they projected all the wrongness and faultiness onto their children.

Reminds self before she continues: They were wounded, too. Engage empathy.

When I began to have problems that stemmed from childhood sexual abuse and emotional neglect, there was *zero* empathy for me. I was not handled gently or as though I was wounded. I was handled as though I was faulty, broken, defective. I was an embarrassment, a burden to be dealt with, a storm in what my parents liked to believe was an otherwise sunny life.

So, these days, as I navigate social media and connecting with people (most especially women) that old tape kicks in. “You must seem okay all the time. You must never be perceived to be wrong or you’ll be utterly abandoned. You must always be in the right and if you aren’t you must steadfastly maintain that you are right even when you aren’t because any sign of weakness is an invitation to those who are just waiting to pounce to POUNCE and rip out your jugular. You must always be bright and shiny. You must always be gracious. You must always be the very best you can be.”

Fuck that.

I came clean today on my Facebook with this message to my lovely tribe:

Effy Wild thinks you should know: Sometimes I overreact. Sometimes I come off as a total cowbag. Sometimes I am a hypocrite. Sometimes, I am prickly out of a desperate need to self-protect. I’m just a girl, yeah? Underneath it all, I’m tender and young and full of self-doubt. If I sting you, it’s probably not personal. It’s probably because I am in full on vulnerable mode. I apologize in advance for the bazillion ways I’m going to disappoint people, because I will, but if we all have empathy for one another and talk things out, it will all come out right in the end. xo ♥

And after I posted it, I felt clear. Totally clear. My work in this world is to be *myself*, warts and all. All the pressure I put on myself to improve, to evolve, to be ‘better, bigger, stronger’ is not only a drag for *me* but it is a drag for the people who live with me. If I’m vibing anxiety all the time (which I am), that’s a cloudy day for everyone around me, yeah? That’s eggshell walking time because what the hell is up with Mom/Spousal Unit/Friend?

What is up is that I am so convinced of my brokenness, my defectiveness that most of the time, I am on the defensive, just waiting for someone to point it out.

What seems like a better approach is to put it out there. Hi! I have issues! If you love me, cool. If not, that’s cool, too.

*Epiphany*

Yes, indeedy. This is good stuff.

xo

Effy

One of the spiritual concepts that brought me into the mixed media and journal art fold was the idea that everything we do with *intent* is an energetic offering to the divine as we understand it. I began to explore this idea back in late 2009 as I was finishing up my Bardic Grade. The purpose of the Bardic Grade is to allow the seeker to foster “Awen” (Welsh, translated loosely as ‘the holy sledgehammer of inspiration’) and boy, howdy. Did it ever.

In the early days of my artistic ventures, I made sure to take a deep breath before I began to create to set an intention. Sometimes the intention was very personal healing ~ “I intend to explore my relationship to my body”, or “I intend to give myself a message I’m really needing to hear right now.” Sometimes, I set intentions that were a little less ‘heavy’, but not less important ~ “I intend to play with shading.” or “I intend to be brave with layering.”. Other times, the most fruitful times, were those times when I set an intention to honour the divine. This is where spirituality and art really intersect for me. I don’t see the difference between an elaborately planned and executed ritual and a few hours spent honouring the divine through journal art. They both have the same sort of feel for me. Both induce trance. Both raise energy. Both result in a greater sense of connection. Both are absolutely magical.

We have something at Wild Precious called “Church of Art”. It’s a cheeky name, since I’m as pagan as all get out, but after the tenth joke about our Sunday livestream being better than church, we decided to call it ‘Church’. The name has stuck, and as cheeky as it might be, it does remind us as we art together that this kind of communing is sacred. We come together as a community. We share our thoughts and feelings. We art.

This past Sunday was all about honouring our ancestry. I did a mixed media canvas (canvas! Me!) in autumnal colours and every step of the way, I was thinking about my lineage ~ both the blood kind and the spiritual kind. Though it appears to the casual viewer that I was just hanging out with my peeps, making pretty things, every layer, every spot of paint, every moment was full of reverence for those who’ve come before me.

The finished piece will rest above my Samhain altar to show my gratitude for the shoulders I stand upon. My familial line, and that Hidden Company of spiritual forebears I keep always have a place in my home and my life, but sometimes a little effort goes a long way to expressing that.

Here’s a video of the process:

Here’s a detailed glimpse of the finished piece:

 Thanks for looking.

xo

Effy

P.S.

P.S. Want to learn how to do this kind of stuff? Check out Mixed Media and Journal Art Boot Camp!

Limited time offer: Register for Life Book through this link, email me to let me know, and get a free spot in Elements: Self-Guided!